My Experience with Imposter Syndrome

My personal experience with imposter syndrome entailed doubting my abilities, feeling insecure, not good enough and unequipped to handle different challenges whilst simultaneously comparing myself to my peers who “seemed” to have it all together. These feelings of self-doubt and incompetence made me feel like ‘I didn’t belong’, despite my education, experiences and accomplishments. In graduate school specifically, I felt a lot of pressure, and mentally overwhelmed given I was dealing with classes, learning a new area of research, developing lab responsibilities, and improving my critical thinking abilities. I recall these feelings were a severe concern for me because throughout childhood, academic success came easy to me. I had rarely faced any challenges since I was a quick learner, a hard worker, and naturally excelled.

How I manage Imposter Syndrome

They’re several actions I took (and still take) to deal with imposter syndrome, and keep the negative feelings in check:

Read the Bible for reminders of who God is and who I am

As a practicing Christian, I believe my identity comes from what God put in me when he created me, what he says about me, and not what I currently feel. This is because my feelings are temporary and they constantly change. So when I encounter(ed) imposter syndrome-like feelings

I read and meditate on several examples of imposter syndrome-like occurrences in the Bible.

I do this to learn how God affirmed the people. Some example occurrences are

• Moses: God called Moses in the burning bush and informed him that he was the chosen one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Moses shared his insecurity and self-doubt with God, and God promised to help him. (Exodus 3: 11-14, and Exodus 4: 10-11)
• Joshua: Joshua was the successor of Moses, who God called and gave marching orders. God encouraged him to “Be strong and courageous” and assured Joshua that He (God) will be with him wherever he goes. (Joshua 1: 1-9)
• David: David was the youngest of his brothers, and not considered by his father to be one of the options for the chosen King. But God rejected all the other options, and had the prophet Samuel anoint David as the chosen one (1 Samuel 16: 12). Furthermore into David’s story, David with his lack of ‘army’ experience, and inadequate armor defeated Goliath (a Philistine giant who challenged the Israelite armies) because God was with him. (1 Samuel 16 and 17)

I make God’s word personal for me and my specific situation and challenge.

I do this by selecting verses of the Bible that speak to my feelings, and have God reaffirm me. Some of my favorite bible passages/verses include

• “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me”. (Psalms 138:8a, NKJV)
• “Lord, you know everything there is to know about me. You perceive every movement of my heart and soul, and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind. God is so intimately aware of me, he reads my heart like an open book and knows all the words I am about to speak before I even start a sentence. God knows every step I will take before my journey even begins”. (Psalms 139: 1-4, TPT)
• “Israel (insert your name here), why then do you complain that the Lord doesn’t know your troubles or care if you suffer injustice? Don’t you know? Haven’t you heard? The Lord is the everlasting God; he created all the world. He never grows tired or weary. No one understands his thoughts. He strengthens those who are weak and tired. Even those who are young grow weak; young people can fall exhausted. But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak”. (Isaiah chapters 40: 27-31, GNB)

Spend time in worship, prayer and journaling

Share(d) my feelings with community, a mentor/coach or in therapy

I came to understand that keeping all these feelings to myself could cause serious issues like anxiety and depression which affect the mental state. Talking to others about these feelings showed me that I was less alone, as others were also dealing with similar feelings, and sometimes were “faking it till they make it”. I quickly realized that some of these feelings were “normal” and most people have wrestled and managed them throughout their life and careers. I also received tips, and strategies that worked effectively for others. If we are more open with our communities, we can get affirmation and encouragement from others which will challenge all the negative thoughts and improve feelings of competence, being good enough and qualified.

Encourage(d) myself

I figured that above all to overcome all the negative feelings, I had to start speaking kindly and positively to myself. I can’t always stop the thoughts that lead me to the negative feelings, but I can speak life and positively to myself. As needed, I post kind affirmations in the spaces where I interact (around my work space/computer, in my bathroom mirror etc) to remind myself I am doing a good job and any other positive things I will love to hear someone tell me. I also make a practice to reflect on how far I’ve come, and celebrate myself and all the small wins. This perspective gently improves my self-esteem, and keeps me in a positive headspace.